The Vampire Diaries: DoppleDanger

Last night was the season 5 premiere of The Vampire Diaries…the gang is in college (and by gang I mean Elena and Caroline)…but the drama is pretty much the same. Unlike everyone else on the show, I’m legitimately worried for Stefan..is he alive? can vampires even drown? What was up with the weird flashback moment at the end of the episode? Nobody seems to be worried about Stefan’s disappearance…in fact it took the harsh realization from Stefan’s doppelganger to remind big brother Damon his brother is probably in trouble. Damon was busy all summer with Elena…Caroline was busy listening to Tyler’s excuses over voicemails…and Jeremy spent all his time with ghost Bonnie emailing fake messages to her friends and family. Like did anyone have their s*** together during the summer? We totally get it, it’s boiling over in HotLanta but is that any excuse to play dumb and ignore all the warning signs that your best friend has been dead for weeks…and your ex boyfriend is missing.

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Bonnie is full out dead…but she still decides to show up for the girls first day at college. This scene was so sad…I still can’t believe she’s really dead and her best friends don’t even know it yet. Speaking of dead girls….Caroline and Elena find out they have a roommate…as if the 3 beds wasn’t a big enough hint? Later, the girls realize their roomy might be a vampire hunter when Caroline finds a bottle of vervaine. They go to a college party to blend in with the normal people, but realize the’re not so normal when they can’t even get into the house party! They weren’t formally invited in…so they legit spent the night pretending to party outside. The party is interrupted when a body comes flying out of the upstairs window…there’s blood all over…and the girls realize this is their beloved roomy…and it looks like a vampire kill. It’s important to note that the hottest guy ever totally tried to hit on Caroline in the beginning, but since she’s so faithful to Tyler…she didn’t even cop a glance. Rumours are swirling that this new hot guy might be the vampire on campus…and he’s probably the one that bit the girl. Who knows…but the girls are about to have the college experience of their eternal lives.

OMG Matt is like pure bad boy now that he’s lost his virginity and had a threesome. He was roaming around Europe all summer with Rebecca…and they couldn’t resist adding another vampire to the mix. Rebecca returns home with Matty but she leaves because she has to switch over to the other show The Originals. The vampire that they had a threesome with shows up in Mystic Falls and does some weird witchy spell thing to Matty…don’t really know what that is but oh well. I really liked Rebecca and Matt together, it’s a shame she has to leave TVD, but hopefully she’ll make a few more appearances.

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Damon is busy taking care of Jeremy. He doesn’t do a good job because Stefan’s doppleganger shows up and is looking for Katherine who is now in human form. Silas (Stefan’s doppleganger) wants to kill Katherine…but Damon saves the day in time. He asks Jeremy to whisk her away and protect her. Silas makes a deal with Damon, if he brings Katherine back he’ll let Damon know where his brother is.  Jeremy doesn’t get too far before Damon calls him and demands he come back. Katherine overhears and sketches out, the car goes off the road and rams into a pole. Jeremy is hurt bad, somehow Katherine makes it out of the car and disappears into the night. Damon arrives to the scene, Jeremy tells him Katherine escaped, but Damon says he doesn’t really care. Does this mean Damon doesn’t really want to find Stefan? It does solve his problems because this way he can be with Elena without feeling sorry for Stefan.

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Damon refuses to tell Elena anything major happened while she was out partying. Caroline listens to another voicemail message from Tyler…he tells her he’s really helping this wolfpack in the mountains so he’s going to stay and not go to school. Basically this means they’re over…it’s time for Caroline to meet hot new guy that possibly a vampire. But also, Caroline and Klaus…I wish they were together!! During the ‘end of summer’ party in Mystic Falls, Bonnie’s dad (the mayor) does his speech on stage. Then Silas walks up and literally slices Bonnie’s dads throat in front of everyone…including ghost Bonnie who was listening to her dad’s speech!!! Silas demands that everyone follow what he says and he needs everyone to keep an eye out for Katherine. Which is basically Elena…so wtf is going to happen?

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If 9021o isn’t cancelled after this season…then I will be extremely surprised. I don’t know where the writer’s have gone…because this show sucks! I keep watching it just because I’m a devoted fan…and still hope it’s going to pick up and take over the CW Network like Vampire Diaries. Anyways, Dickson gets A to drive him to rehab. The rehab facility that costs $40,000 but no problem for Annie because she’s a hooker! No, really…even when she found out her sugar daddy boyfriend cheats on her whenever he leaves LA…she still stuck around for that cash flow. Smart girl.

Noami…I have no idea where Austin was.

Silver finds out she accidentally sent the video of Teddy getting ‘married’ in Vegas to Brandy’s political campaign office. Brandy found the video and obviously leaked it. Teddy was working for the opposition.

Teddy and Liam have an awkward boys night out as they steal two race cars…and start racing on a closed track that is magically lit at night…but the police show up in the end…Liam breaks his ankle…and his modelling agency forces him to do some cheesy ad campaign. He has no choice.

Who else?

I feel like they write the show a few days before filming…it has no depth…everything is completely predictable…and there’s nothing that’s pulling you in to watch for next week’s episode.

Oh! And Raj is cancer free which means he’s going to survive…Somehow he’s a med student? We never knew this before…but apparently his dream is becoming a doctor…so now that he’s going to live he’s going to med school! Ivy enters a photography contest that’s giving out a prize trip to New Guinea. Obviously, she wins…and obviously the person she’s going with is her hot photography teacher. What a shocker.

I would say stay tuned…but for your own sanity. Don’t.

xo