Inside Khloe’s Delivery Room!

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I remember exactly where I was when I found out the news about Khloe, I was in some terminal at the San Francisco airport and I swear I looked around trying to find a face, any stranger in the terminal with me who had just checked their phones and found the story just as surprising. I needed to talk about it, I needed to understand wtf was happening, I needed to know whether Tristan Thompson was still alive…because if he was…people were going to come for him. So in the aftermath of all that, we’re left with Season 15 of KUWTK, and the two episodes (you know which ones) that we’ve been waiting for. These episodes show all the drama that unfolds just as Khloe is about to have her baby. What happens next was only appropriate for me to put into GIF worthy moments.

While we’re probably watching this episode in sweats and our hair in buns, suffering from minor panic attacks for Khloe, you can see here that Kim Kardashian-West is in full hair/glam mode as she prepares herself for the extravaganza that is the Cleveland hospital delivery room.

The sisters (minus Kendall+Kylie) are hurrying to get over to Khloe’s delivery room, Tristan is all up in Khloe’s business tryna make up for ‘lost time’. We’ll just call it that for now. Let’s hope he glammed up like Kim did and used some hand sanitizer. I don’t know why this moment is just cringe – lies I know why but I won’t get into it…yet. (Pause on Khloe’s face as she mentally thinks of everywhere Tristan’s hands have been in the last seven days)

The sisters finally arrive! And I will just say it right here, bless up FAM! For everyone who is lucky enough to have family that will hop on a private jet and get to your delivery room in time for you to have your first child …you are just truly blessed! I do not have that luxury, but I’m sure my family would jump in a Toyota Corolla and drive for twelve plus hours to get to me. So either way…#blessed. Kourtney and Kim get to the hospital just in time, but Kim is having trouble making small talk with TT. Awwwwkward. You know it’s bad when your sister who is minutes away from popping a baby, is calling out her baby daddy and sister for being awkward in the delivery room! Kim is just so weird. Granted TT is disgusting and scum of the earth – but still Kim pull yourself together!

I’d like to say that the sisters work it out with Tristan, but that doesn’t happen here. I mean they sort of just eat their way through it all nibbling on whatever food is in the delivery room. However, the one person that is having a blast is none other than Kris Jenner who is legit glowing, and let’s be real, was probably fresh off the set of Ariana Grande’s ‘Thank u, Next”music video. (Note: Kim in the background probably furiously texting Kanye telling him how awkward everything is)

Then True is basically like “ya’ll are so effing crazy without me and I need to get out here quick and bring some good energy to this mf delivery room” So it’s time. Tristan makes his way over to Khloe…real talk mans didn’t stray 5cm away from Khloe that entire time he was probably too scared to roam anywhere near the Kardashian clan. Cute moment TT…but I still got my eyes on you. (Curious question: Have you washed the sin off your hands?)

And then there were two! Khloe + True. Oh riiiight and her dad. Tristan has a cute (I guess) moment with his daughter, but my girl Kourtney is quick to call the BS. You can just hear her monotone comeback through this GIF. Best.moment.of.the.season.

Literally all this is happening and Kim’s still out here throwing threats around the delivery room. I can’t with her.

And lest we forget the reason why we’re all here. Well the reason Khloe is here, but girl real talk we were all here for the tea. Khloe’s baby girl True. She is so beautiful, so cute, looks like her daddy, but praying she’s more like her mommy. And I have to say it here, the way Khloe handled this entire situation could only be done by the strongest of women. Putting all her feelings and ish aside so that her baby girl could have her dad in the delivery room was everything. What ever happens next with Khloe and TT is there business…and majority of the tabloids’, but what she did for her daughter here was much bigger than the two of them.

Welcome to the world True Thompson. With a mommy like Khloe we can only hope she does amazing things for this world! And for Kim Kardashian-West…I can’t even.

Comment below on your favorite moments from the episode!

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The People V. OJ: A Brentwood Hello

If you’re wondering what it’s like to be grinded on by O.J Simpson and Ross Gellar Robert Kardashian at the same time, just watch the first 30 seconds of this week’s American Crime Story. Like really, how friggin’ creepy was that shot? More importantly, why wasn’t Kris Jenner in da club?

Let’s get right into the episode, because everyone was a little off this week, and nobody does a little off better than Connie Britton in a Ryan Murphy show.

Faye Resnick (Connie Britton)

If you don’t know who Faye Resnick is, it’s because you’re a good person and could care less about the 90s. Faye Resnick was Nicole’s best friend, or ‘best friend’ because I feel like any friendship in that Hollywood circle deserves air quotes. In the midst of her ‘best friend’ being stabbed to death, she decides to write a ‘tell-all’ book about her friendship with Nicole, so that women all around the world can put a stop to domestic violence. Fine girl do your thing. Most of the episode has Connie conversing with her ghost writers about things Nicole told her in privacy, but again ‘privacy’ could use air quotes as well. After the book was published, Faye did a publicized interview with Larry King, so the episode recreates that interview, and basically this is all important information because it’s effecting the trial and the process of jury selection. Also, according to Faye, Nicole had this thing, called a ‘Brentwood Hello’. I’m gonna let you watch the rest of the episode to figure out what that was.

Bob Shapiro

Bob Shapiro came crumbling down in this episode when his lead attorney position is replaced by newly acquired attorney Johnny Cochran. One of the best scenes of the season is when Johnny and Robert are discussing the case with O.J and the timeline of that night and how it looks like he couldn’t have killed her. O.J is all excited, like ‘yeah I totally didn’t even kill her though’ and then Bob Shapiro storms in, and before anyone could even say anything he’s like we need to make a plea deal, call it manslaughter, and basically spews an entire story (which kind’ve sounds like what really went down). And Robert and Johnny are just sitting there like WTF?, and that was probably the end for Bob Shapiro. But John Travolta has done an AMAZING job playing him.

Johnny Cochran

Is playing a larger role as the season progresses. Johnny and whoever Nathan Lane is supposed to be seem to be the only ones that are brave enough to stand up to Shapiro. So just seeing the dynamic between Cochran and Shapiro is really entertaining. There are way too many cooks in the kitchen, and that’s exactly what Marcia was talking about.

Marcia Clark

Is still our heroine and how funny is she with her drawer of liquor? They’re obviously trying to make us feel some type of way about her, because she was so hated in the media, it’s like they really want us to see who she really was. And I think Sarah Paulson is doing a badass job with this role. Hello side eye at the end? How awesome? But honestly, the only moment of this season where I was like oh girl bad move, is when they’re choosing the jury and Marcia’s all like’ I believe in the world, I believe in these people, they will make the right decision’ well guess what girl, they didn’t. And so you can see her desperate need to believe in the system and the people is just going to fu** her in the end. Also, the focus groups rated her a four compared to the defense side that scored no less than eight. They wanted her to change out of her power suits into a more feminine look, they wanted her to change her hair, they wanted her to smile more. It’s like hello? Who’s the one on trial here?

Robert Kardashian

Is going last in this post because he seems to have a really basic role right now. It seems like he’s just more of a friend who happens to be a lawyer, than an actual lawyer. He never really gives legal advice, he’s just there to steer O.J in the right direction. But whatever, cool. He seems to think he knows Nicole, when they were reading Faye’s naughty book, he’s all like ‘Nicole would never do that, or that, or thaaaat’ (Imagine it in the Ross Gellar voice) Annoying right? Like obviously Robert you weren’t the best judge of character because hello – Kris Jenner.

The best part of the episode happens in the final 30 seconds with both sides entering the court room and Above the Law’s Superman is offering the biggest slice of irony. But that’s not even the shocker. The biggest shocker is the new addition to the prosecution team that catches the attention of Johnny Cochran and O.J Simpson. This warrants the greatest side eye/wink of all time.

Don’t miss an all new episode of American Crime Story: The People Vs O.J Simpson next week Tuesday on FX.

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The People V. O.J: I Literally Can’t Even

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“I literally did not realize he was a lawyer” and “You can’t put the genie back in the bottle” were just some of the great lines from this week’s episode of American Crime Story: The People V. O.J Simpson. I honestly can’t tell if the show is getting better by the episodes or am I getting used to the amount of cheesy expositional writing that is happening right now.

Johnny Cochran

This episode was all about the dream team convincing Johnny Cochran to get on board with the O.J case. “Behind every good man is a great woman” (I’m surprised they didn’t use this line in the episode) But seriously, it only took 30 seconds for Johnny’s wife to basically convince him to take the O.J case. And then they called him up and O.J put on a great performance so obviously he couldn’t say no.

Robert Kardashian

Let’s not forget that it is Father’s Day in our American Crime Story world. And like any other Kardashian episode (let’s be real this is basically a Kardashian spin off at this point) the gang, including Robert Jr head to the most popular joint in Beverly Hills. Dressed up in their Sunday best, Kourtney, Kim, Khloe and Rob start turning up because they just cut the line at La Scala’s and their new dad is Bruce Jenner. While dad Robert is spewing ironic Gandi-esque lines to his children, baby Khloe wonders what she’s even doing there, and if her dad might be O.J (via Robert/Bruce + Caitlin). Also, monotone Kourtney points out that O.J is her godfather. Let’s all remember that people, because that little tid bit of information is sure to be monumental later on. If that last bit wasn’t sarcastic enough for you, La Scala’s is also serving up a big plate of irony in the words of the late Robert Kardashian. Here are some of the great pieces of advice he imparts onto his children. “We are Kardashians and being a loyal friend is more important than being famous” (Um Paris Hilton would have to disagree) “Fame is fleeting, it’s hollow, it means nothing without a virtuous heart” (Robert Jr could probably agree with his father on that)

But wait, things get better in a few minutes. Also, if you’re wondering why we aren’t talking about the actual O.J case, it’s because it’s hidden under 500 layers of Kardashian dialogue. Don’t think we forgot about Kris Jenner. Girl can’t have her kids all over the episode without showing her face. And I have to say, Selma Blair, you’ve been MIA for 10 years but you came back with the best role ever. I’m still serving sarcasm here. Robert shows up in a hot pink salmon golf shirt, and his ex-wife greets him at the door. I’m sorry, does everyone in Beverly Hills/Calabasas wear a power suit with dangling pearls around the house? What am  I saying, it’s Kris Jenner slash Selma Blair, duh. Kris Jenner delivers the most ironic line of the night, telling Robert that O.J probably killed Nicole, Robert reminding Kris he’s the uncle/Godfather of monotone Kourtney, and Kris replies “He’s a fake uncle, everything about him is pretend” Girl, bye.

Marcia Clark

Sarah Paulson has to be my favourite character right now. Her performance is the best, which isn’t saying much because everyone else sucks. She’s obviously the only one with a brain at the DA’s office, seems like everyone else is so sure they’re going to win the case, and Marcia’s over there in her office smoking on a cig reminding everyone she’s a woman and she has insight like nobody else! Duh! But seriously, she puts in work and is totally shell shocked when she realizes O.J’s lawyers are going to make the case all about race. Slowly her evidence, like Nicole’s 911 call gets released to the media, making it inadmissible in court. Are you all still following? Is this intriguing at all? Are you currently googling – kris jenner power suit where to find?. If you are, I don’t blame you. Sarah Paulson delivers the final line of the episode, when she reads the morning paper that headlines Johnny Cochran joining O.J’s legal team. “Motherfucker” she blurts out right before putting out her cigarette.

Bob Shapiro

The biggest slime ball of all. He basically initiates the entire ‘race case’ theme by writing an article in The New Yorker.

O.J Simpson

Cuba Gooding Jr appeared towards the end of the episode, and delivered a pretty crazy performance of admitting his innocence to Johnny.

What did you think of the episode? Join the discussion or Tweet us your comments!

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American Crime Story: People v. O.J

Last night FX premiered the highly anticipated The People V. O.J Simpson season executive produced by American Horror Story’s Ryan Murphy. Overall, it was good, but let’s get into the bloody details. And also let me know what you guys think in the comments below.

The Backdrop

So obviously, the O.J Simpson trial is still considered the ‘trial of the century’ because it revolved around a Heisman trophy winner / football hero turned celebrity, it all went down in in Hollywood, and it involved a pretty epic car chase. I guess my question is, why this case? There’s been several books, films, and shows about all aspects of this story, why do we need another one? Other than the fact that it was highly publicized, why are we watching this? After watching last night’s premiere, I realized it’s not really about answering that question. The real clincher is, how and why did this happen the way it did? If he was guilty, how did he get away with it? And everything, it seems, or how everything unfolded in this case, was a clear reflection of the events that happened in Los Angeles in 1992.

That’s how they set up the show, and I’ve just finished Straight Outta Compton (yes I know I’m late to the game) but the movie takes place around the same time, so I’m really getting my fair share of the L.A riot media footage. Also, in light of all the murder mysteries this year. From Netflix’s Making a Murderer to HBO’s The Jinx, there’s clearly an intrigue with cases with a not so ‘black and white’ ending (no pun intended on the colours black and white).

The Characters

Cuba Gooding Jr as O.J  – Let’s start with the man of the hour, O.J is played by Cuba Gooding JR., and I don’t really know much about O.J but reading all the tweets from last night, a lot of people were saying he did a great job mastering O.J’s ‘walk’…whatever it looks like. He also mastered psychotic ex-husband really well, so there’s that. I was definitely over Cuba’s screaming tantrums by the end of it, but I get it, they’re staying true to all aspects of this story.

David Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian – Is it just me or did it feel like David Schwimmer was playing Ross Gellar playing Robert Kardashian? He was wearing the same neurotic worry face he had on as Ross, and I don’t know if Robert was that person. I’ve only ever read about Robert Kardashian through Kris’ ‘mem-wah’ and it sounded like he was a really confident and in charge lawyer? But I could be wrong, or we just don’t see that side of Robert come through until the trial actually begins. So overall, no I didn’t like David Schwimmer. But I’ll give it some time.

Sarah Paulson as Marcia Clark – Curls on curls on curls. I love Sarah Paulson, and I’m super excited to see her in the rest of this season because she’s definitely going to play a huge role throughout the trial. I feel bad for the choice in hair she has, but something tells me she’s going to be nominated for a whole slew of awards next season. So it might be worth it.

John Travolta as Robert Shapiro– What do you want me to say? His face literally looks like it’s melting off in the LA heat and his eyebrows look like furry caterpillars glued onto his face. But I guess he does a good job playing Robert Shapiro? I don’t know it’s John freakin’ Travolta.

Selma Blair and Connie Britton as Kris Jenner and Faye Resnick– Let me just group these two girls together because that’s how we see them for the first time at Nicole’s funeral. Selma is playing the ex-wife of Robert Kardashian aka Kris Jenner, and Connie is playing Nicole’s close friend Faye Resnick. I’d like to note here that the real Faye Resnick is now playing a larger role than normal on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. For…wait for it…her having written a book on being Nicole Brown’s best friend. Coincidence? Andy Cohen and Ryan Murphy timing this out perfectly? I wouldn’t put it past them.

Connie is back with Murphy, seriously I thought he shunned her from his shows after her crappy performance in American Horror Story season one. Connie looks like a bad ass b**** who excels in her very obvious, very expositional dialogue. Telling Kris when Robert walks into the funeral, ‘there’s your ex’. Um, yeah Faye, we know this since we just saw Kris yelling at her three adolescent daughters Kourtney, Kim and Khloe. I guess she’s pointing out that they are no longer a couple, I wonder if Bruce will play a role in this season? (this last part was a joke btw)

Let me just say here, I don’t want this entire season to be full of Kardashian sister references, I don’t want my Twitter feed from the night’s episode to be all about Kris and her ability to be a mother. We did it last night, let’s get it out of our systems and move on. They are not the centre of this story, no matter how much we’d like that to be the case. (pun intended)

I might’ve left out some other key characters, but we’ll get to them once we dive further into the season. Whether O.J was guilty or not, Ryan Murphy is guilty of being one of the best television directors out there and the style and feel has for this show is going to separate it from anything else out there. So yeah, make sure you make some time to watch the premiere. And comment below if you want to join the discussion.

American Crime Story: The People V. O.J Simpson airs on FX at 10pm.

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We Care About ‘KhloMar’

The season finale of Keeping Up With the Kardashians aired this Sunday with a jam packed episode. There was the little baby to talk about (North), it was Kylie’s sweet 16 (cool)…and the ever looming question- WTF is going on with Lamar?

Khloe and Lamar have always been my favourite couple- not just in that family…but in the world. Every time anyone said anything bad about that family, I ignored them and proceeded to say great things about the couple that met and got married in 30 days. You could tell their love was real, they just got each other, unlike Kris and Kim who just looked like they were forcin their relationship. Khloe is my fave and I totally had her back when she chose Lam as the man of her dreams.

But WTF is going on right now?

The world is not in a good place when Khloe and Lamar aren’t happy. It doesn’t just affect fans- it affects people close to them like Rob. On Sunday night’s episode, he admits to Brody that he needs to move out of the home (he lives with Khlomar), he needs to find his own place and escape the negativity that is Lamar. For whatever reason, Lamar has been down and out, he’s uber depressed, and he’s doing drugs (allegedly). Until I see a crack pipe in his hand- I won’t believe what the tabloids say. Apparently, only Khloe and Rob really know what’s up with LamLam, Khloe has been tight lipped to her family- she doesn’t want everyone knowing what he’s going through. Whether she’s ashamed or whether she doesn’t want to talk about it…the problem still remains- why won’t Lamar wake the f*** up!

But now, it seems like Khloe has given up on him as well. Not that she hasn’t tried to bring Lammy back, she admits to Rob that she’s done everything she possibly could to make him happy, but he just can’t find his happy place. Khloe explains that Lamar has gone through things in his life that are now resurfacing, and it has  consumed him entirely. Kourtney and Scott complain that they never see Lamar anymore, Lamar has never even been to their house, it all just seems really sad.

The finale ended off with a serious conversation between brother and sister Rob and Khloe. Rob admits to Khloe that he needs to remove himself from the negativity, he wants to get his own place where he can focus on himself, his fitness, and his well being. (Call me) Totally understandable, Khloe has mixed feelings because she would rather go through this with her brother, but she understands that he needs to work on himself. Rob tells Khloe that maybe it’s time for her to re-evaluate her marriage, she’s obviously not happy, she’s tried everything, and she shouldn’t’ give up her life because Lamar’s given up on his. Heartbreaking. The tabloids keep reporting that Khloe’s ready for a divorce, she’s got the paperwork ready- I however will not accept that bu***** until I hear it from Khloe.

Yesterday, there were talks that Bruce has taken Lamar under his wing. They’re spending time together at Bruce’s Malibu mansion- hopefully that’s true because Lammy could use some Bruce Jenner wisdom.

What do you guys think? Will Lammy pull through? Should Khloe wait for him? Can their marriage be saved!?

Love you KhloMar!

Kardashians In MIKONOS!

The three part Kardashian vacation in Greece is over but it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the beautiful pictures one more time. The Kardashian vacations are always a staple feature in their seasons, something always good comes out of the getaways. Although my man Robert wasn’t present, we still got the chance to enjoy Brody and Brandon as they joined the Kardashian clan in Mikonos.

Enjoy the slideshow!

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Khloe & Lamar: We Need Bob!

This season of Khloe and Lamar has been full of emotional episodes ever since Lamar’s trade to the Dallas Mavs. One month into their new living arrangement, Khloe’s crazy familia decides to pay them a visit. First our favourite Kardashian Robert aka Uncle Bob decides to visit his old roomies- and rekindle an old flame (his bromance with Lamar).

The trio have a good time…I mean really Bob is so hilarious how could you not enjoy spending time with him. It seems as if Lamar’s attitude really changes when Bob is around, and Khloe finally mentions to Rob if he would want to stay with them for a little while until Lamar gets into the swing of things. I guess Rob really wants to start his own life so at first he didn’t want to move in with Khlomar.

In the end, his crazy mama and sistas convince him it’s the right thing to do- especially since Lamar really wanted him to stay.

The entire family gets to watch a game from the Cuban suite…Khloe gets a little mad at her mom for using up her connections…but really that’s what Kris is good at…so just let it be.

And as for Lamar- he played like s***, and unfortunately the Mavs do let him go…which would mean he is a free agent now…but he is probably enjoying some down time with Khloe- and hopefully trying to make da baby!!

 

KKTNY: Scott and Kris Romantic Date!

Another week begins…which means another week with the Kardashians. Last night on E! we got ro see a whole lot of ’em…and a whole lot of issues we didn’t wanna know about on Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Scott gets caught with lesbo porn on his mac…and Kris finds himself in yet another argument with Kim…he can’t win.

Kim finishes her birth control pills and has an amazing idea that she won’t bother getting anymore…since her and Kris should try having babies. Um..at this point they’ve probably been married a month…maybe a few days more since they’re entire marriage didn’t even last 72 days. So no, Kim that isn’t a good idea, nor do I understand why the f you even thought it would be a good idea. Kris has cold feet in the beginning, and complains that he would want to raise his family in Minnesota…and Kim says straight up she will never ever…ever…live in Minnesota…she will ‘live and die’ in LA. So, there you have it…the reason for the divorce. Or annulment, or..whatever they’ve decided to get.

Kourtney finds porn on Scott’s computer…and realizes she’s not giving him enough…so they’re going to work at it. Scott enjoys a nice date day with mom Kris while she’s in NYC for the Today show. They were actually really cute together- we’re used to seeing mom Kris and Scott butt heads, but it seems they’ve worked on their relationship…and I’m starting to like Scott more and more. (Surprise) I think that was the week where everyday the Today show had one of the Kardashian’s on air. Then…a  few weeks later they got the divorce.

In the end, Kris agrees that they should start making babies, and he’s excited to be a daddy…but then Kim realizes she’s way too important to the world…and she can’t take time off now to be a mother. Timing is everything…and clearly for this couple time isn’t on their side.

Scott and Kourt work their problems out…and hopefully end up sleeping in the same bed. Mason is cute as ever…and next week looks like an even better episode with Kim arguing with best friend Jonathan Cheban. Tune in!

xo

Keeping Up…Wedding Proposal!

WTF!? Do they really expect us to believe that proposal scene???

First of all, the sound effects of Kim’s heels against the floor were totally fake and dramatized. Nice try though.

Second, after they got into that fight about their financial state…did they ever makeup? I never saw the resolution…I guess he pushed it aside before Kim could lose any interest in him. Can’t let her slip away Kris!!

Third, Kim didn’t even look surprised…I mean if you really waited for this moment since you were 10 years old…wouldn’t you freak out, start screaming, or start crying? No wait, she did all that when she lost her $75,000 earring in Bora Bora. Maybe her heart isn’t into it as much as she thought.

The funniest moment was when they walked into the family dinner, and everyone starting asking about the ring. Nobody believed them, nobody had any idea as to what was going on…as if the truth would seem so crazy and impossible. This episode sealed the deal for me, he is a complete fame-whore, there is no reason why a 25-yr old NBA player (if you can call him that) would be in such a rush to get married. To quote my friend, “I think he proposed before he f*cked it up and they break up” Well said.

As for her, she couldn’t look like a more superficial spoiled brat…and if it wasn’t for her normal sisters, and my soon-to-be husband brother, I would never watch their shows. And Mason…and maybe Bruce (pre-diamond studded)

The wedding special is in October.

For everyone’s sake, lets hope Kris moves out of his ‘college dorm’ apartment…so that Kim can walk in-and-out of their home without the hassle of adoring College fans.

xoxo