The People V. OJ: A Brentwood Hello

If you’re wondering what it’s like to be grinded on by O.J Simpson and Ross Gellar Robert Kardashian at the same time, just watch the first 30 seconds of this week’s American Crime Story. Like really, how friggin’ creepy was that shot? More importantly, why wasn’t Kris Jenner in da club?

Let’s get right into the episode, because everyone was a little off this week, and nobody does a little off better than Connie Britton in a Ryan Murphy show.

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Faye Resnick (Connie Britton)

If you don’t know who Faye Resnick is, it’s because you’re a good person and could care less about the 90s. Faye Resnick was Nicole’s best friend, or ‘best friend’ because I feel like any friendship in that Hollywood circle deserves air quotes. In the midst of her ‘best friend’ being stabbed to death, she decides to write a ‘tell-all’ book about her friendship with Nicole, so that women all around the world can put a stop to domestic violence. Fine girl do your thing. Most of the episode has Connie conversing with her ghost writers about things Nicole told her in privacy, but again ‘privacy’ could use air quotes as well. After the book was published, Faye did a publicized interview with Larry King, so the episode recreates that interview, and basically this is all important information because it’s effecting the trial and the process of jury selection. Also, according to Faye, Nicole had this thing, called a ‘Brentwood Hello’. I’m gonna let you watch the rest of the episode to figure out what that was.

Bob Shapiro

Bob Shapiro came crumbling down in this episode when his lead attorney position is replaced by newly acquired attorney Johnny Cochran. One of the best scenes of the season is when Johnny and Robert are discussing the case with O.J and the timeline of that night and how it looks like he couldn’t have killed her. O.J is all excited, like ‘yeah I totally didn’t even kill her though’ and then Bob Shapiro storms in, and before anyone could even say anything he’s like we need to make a plea deal, call it manslaughter, and basically spews an entire story (which kind’ve sounds like what really went down). And Robert and Johnny are just sitting there like WTF?, and that was probably the end for Bob Shapiro. But John Travolta has done an AMAZING job playing him.

ACS_elevatorJohnny Cochran

Is playing a larger role as the season progresses. Johnny and whoever Nathan Lane is supposed to be seem to be the only ones that are brave enough to stand up to Shapiro. So just seeing the dynamic between Cochran and Shapiro is really entertaining. There are way too many cooks in the kitchen, and that’s exactly what Marcia was talking about.

Marcia Clark

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Is still our heroine and how funny is she with her drawer of liquor? They’re obviously trying to make us feel some type of way about her, because she was so hated in the media, it’s like they really want us to see who she really was. And I think Sarah Paulson is doing a badass job with this role. Hello side eye at the end? How awesome? But honestly, the only moment of this season where I was like oh girl bad move, is when they’re choosing the jury and Marcia’s all like’ I believe in the world, I believe in these people, they will make the right decision’ well guess what girl, they didn’t. And so you can see her desperate need to believe in the system and the people is just going to fu** her in the end. Also, the focus groups rated her a four compared to the defense side that scored no less than eight. They wanted her to change out of her power suits into a more feminine look, they wanted her to change her hair, they wanted her to smile more. It’s like hello? Who’s the one on trial here?

Robert Kardashian

ACS_robIs going last in this post because he seems to have a really basic role right now. It seems like he’s just more of a friend who happens to be a lawyer, than an actual lawyer. He never really gives legal advice, he’s just there to steer O.J in the right direction. But whatever, cool. He seems to think he knows Nicole, when they were reading Faye’s naughty book, he’s all like ‘Nicole would never do that, or that, or thaaaat’ (Imagine it in the Ross Gellar voice) Annoying right? Like obviously Robert you weren’t the best judge of character because hello – Kris Jenner.

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The best part of the episode happens in the final 30 seconds with both sides entering the court room and Above the Law’s Superman is offering the biggest slice of irony. But that’s not even the shocker. The biggest shocker is the new addition to the prosecution team that catches the attention of Johnny Cochran and O.J Simpson. This warrants the greatest side eye/wink of all time.

Don’t miss an all new episode of American Crime Story: The People Vs O.J Simpson next week Tuesday on FX.

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