Last night was the season eight premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and from what we witnessed, we obviously ‘didn’t know the half of it’ like the promos promised. First off, there was way too much sex talk for a 60-minute reality show, I don’t need to know how many girls Rob has done the ‘back door Betty’ with…and I really don’t need to see Kourtney in a strap on.
The episode starts off with a little Kris/Bruce Jenner drama, Bruce invites a bunch of his helicopter buddies over…most of them Armenian (how ironic?). They spend the night laughing and chatting away while Kris is trying to sleep upstairs. She is furious with Bruce for bringing his friends over and making so much noise, Bruce decides on renting his own place…so he can get time and space for himself. It’s understandable…really who wouldn’t need extra space after living in a huge mansion like the one they have? Obviously you would drive down the coast to Malibu and rent out a more suitable living arrangement…obviously.
Here’s the thing, when it comes to these kind of stories…I take everything with a grain of salt…most of it is set up- like really why would Bruce bring someone into their bedroom when Kris is trying to sleep? It’s just weird.
Then we head over to Khloe’s house, everyone is over, Scott is talking about sex as usual and he brings up the whole idea of ‘back door Betty’. Rob explains he’s only done it with two different girls…thanks for that little fun fact Rob. Scott admits he wants to do it with Kourtney…he brings up Khloe and Lamar and how they probably do it in 200 different positions…and now this conversation has gotten too weird. I’m all for the Kardashian clan being open with their lives, but this scene was so awkward to watch it’s obvious they’ve run out of topics to talk about. Why is this an issue we all need to hear about? Just play with Mason he’s more fun to watch.
Kim is pregnant…she admits to Kris that she’s not that excited for the baby. She never imagined she would be pregnant…and be married to someone else. It is stressful, with all her court appearances, I’m sure she is running out of conservative things to wear. Kim and Kanye buy a beautiful home…it’s really a mega mansion. It looks absolutely over the top…none of the other sisters have a house that large. Kourtney’s house is super cute, traditional and cozy…Khloe’s house looks a bit bigger but it still has that homey feel. Kim’s mansion is on a next level…I guess Kanye really needs all that space. Kim brings Khloe along to check out the house, Kim explains she wants to gut everything and build her dream house. Kim shows Khloe the yard and explains how they want to move the pool to the other side….because right now an infinity pool and gorgeous yard aren’t ‘liveable’. Khloe reminds Kim that the renovations won’t be done until after Kim gives birth which stresses Kim out even more. Either way Kim will have a place to sleep…don’t worry Kim you’re not going be homeless and pregnant. I really just want to see the house remodeled, if it looks anything like Kris’ home…it’s going to look fab. HGTV should do a special on it!
Bruce moves into a Malibu home, now he’s closer to Brody and Brandon who are now officially cast members of the show. Khloe questions her mothers motives for this ‘separation’ she worries that things might be worse than she thought between Kris and Bruce. Kris explains that unless Khloe has been married for 23 years…she shouldn’t voice her opinion. Everyone in the family agrees it’s not healthy for the couple to be living separate lives. Kris enjoys a few nights alone…but while watching The Bachelor realizes she misses him. Her and Kylie drive to Malibu to get Bruce to come back home.
After Scott begs Kourtney to try other positions in bed…Kourtney has a brilliant idea to wear a strap on and use it on Scott…only then will she agree to the ‘back door Betty’. Scott freaks out when he hears this proposition, Kourtney busts out her strap on and it was actually the funniest scene ever. In the end, Scott admits he will never ask for the ‘back door Betty’ again, he’s absolutely traumatized.
Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and Kris meet for Kim’s doctor appointment. It was a really special episode because the family let us in on a little secret…Kim is having a baby girl! Yay!
Glad to have the fam back!
Follow Natasha on Twitter @thetashaic