Dirty Soap:What’s Wrong With Luiz??

Last night was another dirrrtay episode of E!’s Dirty Soap. The downside of these types of reality shows…that take the viewer into the life of a famous person…or in this case a ‘soap star’, is that we might not like the “real” person behind the character. Especially for soap stars…who have played the same role for years…it’s hard for fans to see them in a different way. Characters like, the charming momma’s boy (Luiz,Passions) or the sweet innocent daughter of John (Kirsten,General Hospital)…or the dangerous/scandalous/bitchy Sam on GH…(Wait-that sounds like real life Kelly)

P.S You will never understand these references if you were never a true soap fan.

Anyways, long story short, on Dirty Soap we get to see the real person…well as much as the editors want us to see. Like Galen… I fell in love with him ever since he played Luiz (Theresa’s brother) on Passions. He was the poor,sexy,charming and sweet guy on the short-lived Soap. But, I really hate him on Dirty Soap! I hate to say it, but he doesn’t look to happy with his life and wife. His wife’s a total mess, she gets upset at him when he does love scenes…hello…didn’t you sign up for that when you married him! He’s a soap star!! And apparently…she was one to. Although I can’t say I recognize her with all that plastic surgery. So, on last night’s episode Galen’s wife leaves for 4 hours to go to the spa…apparently Galen’s never been left alone with his kids for more than 2 hours. WTF? His kids are like 6…are they saying he’s never been alone with his children?? Can you say absentee father? So the little boy locks himself in his room…by mistake. And Galen comes to the rescue by climbing to the balcony and getting into the room from there. Exciting. Wifey comes home from the spa…and he confesses what happened. Boring.

Moving on…Chloe (Days, her real name is Nadia but I only call soap stars by their fake names)…and her boyfriend Brandon (don’t know what role he’s in right  now) are so cute. First, I love their house and wish they adopted me as their first child so that I could live in it. Second, her mother is cray cray!! Chloe’s mom takes ‘over-bearing Persian mother’ to a whole new level. It’s obvious Chloe’s mom and Brandon don’t get along…mainly because Brandon’s a cheap motherf*er. Apparently, he’s never bought Chloe flowers…and therefore isn’t a gentleman…he doesn’t look like a man…essentially isn’t the right man for her daughter. She literally tells him this point blank at dinner. Oh, and when they have dinner, thankfully Brandon arrives with a bouquet of flowers for her, but she’s still not satisfied.

Kirsten Storms aka Belle on Days of Our Lives has a family…except they don’t speak to her. All she has for family is her brother…and Kelly Monaco. So, apparently her brother is in the army and he’s leaving for Flight School (sad). Her brother has a fiancee…member O-Town’s Ashlee Parker Angel?…member how he got a girl pregnant (Tiffani)…got a reality show…tried making an album…and… …. ….

Well I don’t know what exactly happened to APA…but his baby momma is now pregnant with Kirsten’s brother’s baby (confusing). Anyways, it was sad, the brother left…and Kirsten was upset that all she had was gone. Except now she has Tiffani to take care of…Lyric, (the lovechild between APA and Tiffani)

Kelly, I don’t use her character’s name because I refuse to believe in the existence of a character who tried to break up Sonny and Brenda…ain’t happenin’ sista! Anyways, homegirl’s still dealing with her break-up with 18-year old boyfriend/fiancee Mike. Not sure if they were married. She decides to have a girls night in…at her house…which is beautiful…sorry Kirsten you weren’t invited. Anyways, the girls sit around the campfire…and pick celebrities they think Kelly should date. Yay!

As for Farah…and JP. I don’t even know what to say about these two. They look like really cool/fun people individually…but together? Don’t think they would work. So, JP is leaving NYC and his momma for LA and Farah. Sadly, One Life To Live ended…and they no longer have jobs in The City. Off to The Hills. JP’s mother doesn’t seem to like Farah…oh well…JP isn’t sure he wants to get married (what a surprise)…and Farah is dying to get hitched.

Next week, is the highly anticipated reunion between Kirsten and Farah…who used to be best friends on Days but now no longer speak to one another. Should be interesting.

Stay tuned!

 

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