15 THINGS THAT HAPPEN DURING A GOT WATCH PARTY

With the new season of Game of Thrones just around the corner, okay there’s still like two months but considering we’ve been waiting all year, just let us have this moment.

So with the new season approaching, so are those Game of Thrones watch parties with all your friends. Here are all the things you think about while watching Game of Thrones.

15. When you put on HBO at the exact hour and you still have to wait for those damn HBO trailers to finish

arya-waiting

Like, The Leftovers seems like it would be a cool show, but no I don’t care to watch a 4 minute trailer right now, just please, take me to Westeros.

14. When your friends roll up with a 40-pack of birthday cake timbits and donuts and you’re so grateful you have good people around you

got-tyrion-snacks

Set the mood right with the perfect snacks, whether it’s a delicious dessert, or some 7-layer dip and chips, you know HBO has no commercials, so you better have everything you could ever want in the next 55 minutes, right in front of you.

13. When your friends roll up with a big bottle of red and you’re just like ‘how fitting, it’s the colour of BLOOD!’

cersei-morewine

[Caution: Consuming large amounts of alcohol will affect your memory and you may not remember key moments of the episode the next morning at work, so just like, be careful]

12. When you tell all your friends to put their phones away or you will literally set them all on fire #bye

dragon-burnthephone

Guys, this is not a joke, phone usage will not be tolerated during Game of Thrones watching, there is no reason for you to be on your phone, because the next 55 minutes is literally all that matters in life. I’m just saying, I will be okay with setting your mobile devices on fire.

11. When you had to wash your hair and didn’t have time to dry it before the episode so you’re stuck for the next hour with wet hair

jon-wethair

Seriously, this is legit #firstworldproblems. You know you had to wash your hair for work the next day, but all your friends were coming through so you didn’t have time to dry your hair and now you’re stuck for 55 minutes with wet/cold hair. But realistically, you don’t even mind because Game of Thrones is life.

10. It’s time to dim the lights…

khalees-screaming

I don’t be messin’ around with potential TV glare, the lights need to be turned down low for maximum Game of Thrones watching. The person closest to the light switch will feel my wrath.

9. When the opening sequence starts and one of your friends is like ‘I haven’t caught up I’m still like on season 4’

got-whyareyouhere

No but really, did you think there was going to be a PowerPoint presentation recapping the last three seasons? If you’re not caught up, then I can’t help you.

8. When everyone starts eating and your living room floor is basically destroyed

khalees-dontspill

LOL, this one doesn’t even bother me because again, Game of Thrones is life and nothing else really matters for the next hour.

7. When the episode literally just started and someone’s already asking a question

cersei-annoyed

We have slotted some time after the episode to discuss scenes and/or ask questions, please refrain from speaking for the next hour. Again there are no commercial breaks, you will just have to guess what was said in the scene if you didn’t hear them

6. When the entire room didn’t hear what was said in the scene, so it’s okay to use your PVR powers and rewind the scene

got-pvrvibes

You can only use your PVR powers once, as long as everyone in the room agrees they had no idea what just happened in that scene, and to be fair, that does happen often in Game of Thrones.

5. When that 7-layer dip gets to you and someone lets one rip

khaleesi-thefart

LOL, it’s okay, you’re forgiven.

4. When you’re halfway through an epic scene and you realize Littlefinger and Varys basically started the entire show

littlefinger-starteditall

It’s true, Littlefinger is the cause of everything, he legit played a little finger in every single death and decision from the beginning. Think about it.

3. When someone shows up to the watch party with a cold and now you’re stuck breathing the same air as them

gpt-cersei

By this point, you’re in the thick of the episode and to be honest you probably won’t even notice if one of your friends is having a severe cough attack, so really, just keep watching, you’re good.

2. When everything you wanted to happen in the episode didn’t happen and now you’re left with an empty soul

sansa-yourdreams

Half the fun of watching Game of Thrones is predicting/hoping/wishing/yearning for the outcome of your dreams, and when it doesn’t happen, you’re literally, crushed to the core. Also, you do feel really stupid when you cursed King Joffrey to his death but his death didn’t even happen until season four.

1. When the night and the episode comes to an end and you’re wishing all your friends a safe drive home

melisandre-whenyourfriendsleave

The hardest part of the night is saying goodbye to your friends wishing them a safe drive home. Having to retreat to your bedroom with all of tonight’s epic moments floating through your head is extremely daunting. The night is truly dark and full of terrors.

 

 

 

The seventh season of Game of Thrones premieres Sunday July 16th on HBO.

The Handmaid’s Tale – A Second Season

There’s a lot you can say about The Handmaid’s Tale – it was a novel  written by Margaret Atwood back in 1985, that mostly everything in her book has frightening similarities to our (or the American) political climate today and that Hulu probably made the best decision ever by purchasing the show.

The_Handmaid's_Tale_intertitle

Hulu renewed The Handmaid’s Tale for a second season after the airing of the first episode – you can imagine how much acclaim this show has received by fans of the book, TV enthusiasts, feminists, and basically anyone else with an open mind.

I remember reading the book a long time ago, so I don’t even remember how the story with Offred ends, but I’m really hoping there’s a happy ending. I assumed the TV series would be a onetime thing, one season with a beginning and end. But finding out that there might be much more to the show and more story for these characters, I’m excited. But, also a little nervous because it’s obviously going to take a little longer before we see some resolution.

Set in a dystopian future, the world is suffering from a lack of newborn babies, and the republic of Gilead has decided to take measures into their own hands. A woman (Elisabeth Moss) is forced to live as a concubine under a fundamentalist theocratic dictatorship.

handmaids-quoteThere are some great players in the show Elisabeth Moss plays the main character Offred, Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls) plays her neighbour girl Ofglen, Joseph Fiennes and Yvonne Strahovski (Dexter) play the married couple, and Poussey from OITNB is out of the orange but looks great in red.

 

The first season is only half way through, and there have been some amazing scenes, the adaptation of the book is seamless with their script, beautiful camera work, flashbacks are on point and the music in the show is everything.

Stay tuned for the end of the season, we’ll be recapping our favourite moments, and I’m already having trouble deciding on them.

TOP 10 RIVERDALE MOMENTS

While we’re waiting for the two long weeks until the return of Riverdale, we decided to compile our top 10 favourite moments from the season so far. These moments had us laughing the hardest, had ours jaws droppin’ low low, and had us screaming “YAAAS Betty YAAAS!”

10. Jason’s Body

img-10-jayson

Jason is the most overrated character on the show, he’s literally never had a line or spoken a word of anything. We don’t even know what his voice sounds like but, his name is called over a hundred times in an episode, and by the end of the pilot, his body turns up at the lake. We find out he’s not only missing, he’s dead *gasp* and he has a crater sized bullet hole in his forehead. Jeez.

9. Grundy High Key Creepin’

img-09-grundy

Grundy had my jaw droppin’ low because she was a lethal creeper till the end of her four episode stint. She started off so innocent (I never believed she was) but when she’s baited out by Alice Cooper, Grundy draws a white flag and says she’ll leave town if they don’t arrest her. So you’re like okay cool, she must not be as crazy as she looks because she’s giving up Archie, she knows she could get arrested for basically being a pedophile, but instead, this biatch turns her lurk meter up as she’s packing her car, she gives one final (probably not final) look to a pair of high school jocks walking down her street. I was like I KNEW IT!! She is so shady, and we are betting that her and her creeper beetle will be back in town to stir some sh** up before end of season.

8. Homeless Jughead

img-08-jughead

Jughead is probably the saddest character in the show right now. He even beats out dead crater sized bullet hole Jason. At the end of the ‘Last Picture Show’ episode, when the town’s only drive-in theatre is being closed, we see Juggy pack his things from the film room where he’s been living for some time. How sad is that!? The saddest part was him closing up, and his dad being like ‘Yo son where you gonna go now?’ So his dad knew he was homeless and living at the drive-in the entire time! Ugh, Juggy we love you.

7. The Sticky Maple Sitch

img-05-stickymaple

When Veronica goes on a date with the football star of Riverdale high, she’s feeling herself, but it quickly comes crashing down when the next morning she realizes she’s been ‘sticky mapled’ What is that you ask? The show doesn’t really answer that question, all we know is that a picture of Veronica was posted on fake Instagram with a maple syrup smear on her face. I’m assuming it means she was ‘mapled’ aka she did the dirty. But when Veronica finds out she knows Chuck is lying, and is ready to go ‘full dark no stars’, and this inevitably leads to the number one spot on our list. See below.

6. Archie and Veronica in the Closet

img-06-closet

I had to have this on my list because it really did surprise me. The entire time Veronica was playing the good girl friend role to Betty, and she was all like Betty go get your man Archie. And then out of nowhere she jumps into a closet with Archie for 7 minutes. She could’ve used that time to have an awkward conversation with her best friend’s love interest, but instead she puts the mack on Archie. Girl what? Girl bye.

 

 

5. FP for the Win with Jason’s Letterman Jacket

FP is Jughead’s father, and he’s also the leader of the Southside Serpants, Riverdale’s version of the Hell’s Angels. By the end of Chapter 7, the camera pans through the inside of FP’s trailer and we see Jason’s letterman jacket hanging in his closet. Lot’s of questions here as to why FP has his jacket? Was FP the one who torched the getaway car Jason and Polly had stashed away? Is he holding onto the jacket for safekeeping? Is he going to return it to the Blossoms? Is he planning to impersonate Jason with his dark and brooding dad hotness? So so many questions, guess we’ll find out more when Riverdale returns on March 30th.

4. Cheryl Blossom in All White Everything.

img-04-cheryl

Literally, all white everything. This was definitely a moment where I was like ‘whaaaaaaat?’. When Veronica helps Cheryl Blossom pick out her outfit for her dead brother’s memorial, Veronica had no idea that Cheryl was planning the ultimate betrayal. Not choosing what your best friend picks out for you. Girl, you just don’t do that. Also, she chose the complete opposite colour, trading in her black dress, for the all white dress she had on when she saw her brother last. Just seeing her enter the room, everyone’s heads turning, her mom’s face, it was one of the best moments. I was shocked but laughing at the same time. Her reasoning for the choice made total sense, she was wearing it when she saw her brother alive last, so it has meaning. We feel you girl.

3. The Bughead Kiss

img-03-bughead

Okaaaaaay but I did not see this coming. Did you guys know this was going to be a thing? For the last few episodes Betty and Jughead have been working overtime at the paper,or just in life general to uncover the mystery that is Polly and Jason. They’ve been spending long nights and early mornings together, and I guess somewhere in the middle they were feeling each other. There weren’t too many hints at this connection before, which I guess is a good thing because I honestly didn’t see it happening right then and there. It was nice. At the end of Chapter 6 Jughead pulls a Dawson’s Creek moment and swoops into Betty’s room via the upstairs window. (In the future episodes I would like to see the exact ladder from Dawson’s Creek hanging beside Betty’s window) He swoops in and she’s all stressed out about Polly and Jason, and he’s like way-a-min and grabs her and kisses her! That’s when Twitter exploded with the #Bughead and a new couple was formed. So does Jughead make the Archie/Veronica/Betty triangle a square now? Something to consider right?

2. Pregnant Polly

img-02-polly

Polly oh Polly. We had been hearing so much about Polly since the beginning of Chapter 1, we finally get to see her in Chapter 6 and it was amazing! I low key had a feeling she might’ve been pregnant. The idea that two high schoolers were rushing to get away and start a new life together seemed only logical if they were about to have a baby. So I was right, but when Betty strolls her way into the institution Polly had been locked up in, it was still surprising to finally see Polly was indeed preggos. And she didn’t seem all that crazy, but by end of episode she jumps out of her room window leaving a trail of blood behind, so yeah she may very well still be cray cray.

1. Betty and Her Wig

img-01-betty cooper

I mean was this even a tough choice? This scene will probably be my favourite from season one just because it was so friggin’ badass and crazy. When Veronica decides to get back at Chuck for sticky maple-ing her, Betty comes back hard and is like ‘no Veronica we need to ruin him forever’ And Veronica was all game, and so were we, and then there was the wig and we were like oh sh** this bi*** be cray. Ethel (Barb from Stranger Things) has an indoor pool, so Betty decides to lure Chuck over to the indoor pool and have a crazy sexy night with him, and she invites Veronica into the mix to because she needed a cameraman. It was just a fun scene, the music was on point, and then Betty walks out in full black on black with a black wig!! The look on Veronica’s face just said it all, that Betty was definitely not as innocent as she seemed. And then a few minutes later she legit almost drowned Chuck. So the night got a little out of hand, but it was still amazing seeing B & V run a mission together. Here’s to many more of those.

What do you guys think? Were there any other moments that stuck out to you guys? What has been your favourite scene of season one so far?

Riverdale returns with a brand new episode on The CW Thursday March 30th.

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 7 TEASER!

We’re calling this a teaser because there is no footage what so ever from the upcoming 7th season but that doesn’t mean we didn’t have chills watching this teaser. In 90 seconds they basically sum up all the biggest moments of the show leading up to this new season. You hear a lot of angry Khaleesi in there and you know it’s about to be her season. But, as we all know Winter is here, and that means there’s a bigger battle to be fought. I can’t believe we have to wait until July for this!!

TOP 10 TV HEROINE’S OF 2017!

In honour of International Women’s Day, we’ve come up with a list of the Top 10 Toughest Women on TV. (This post was originally created in October 2013 – some rankings have changed based on the ending of several series – sorry Gemma Teller and Deborah Morgan) Click here to see who made the original list.

10. Arya Stark (Game of Thrones)

So Arya Stark made our original list as well, coming in at the number ten spot, it’s not that we don’t think Arya is the ultimate heroine, she embodies everything that is a heroine, we just think she has so much more potential. She’s been on this crazy journey since the moment they chopped off Ned Stark’s head in the first season. She made it over to Braavos, she was selling oysters and cockles, she was blind and learned how to become a master fighter, and now she’s ready to kick some Lannister butt. Just like Khaleesi, Arya is on her journey home and I’m getting goosebumps just writing this up because I am so excited to see her reunite with everyone. Or at least, check off some of those names on her list. She is the Kill Bill of our heroine list. Do you guys see Arya making it to the end of the show? I’m so curious about her fate just because I don’t know if I need her alive at the end to feel satisfied, but I definitely need her to see her sister and brother at some point before the finale.

Arya_Stark

9. Lisa Prince (Kingdom)

Lisa Prince makes this list because the actress Kiele Sanchez absolutely swooped in and stole the second half of the season. It was one of the most powerful and heartbreaking performances I’ve ever seen,  because she decided to come back on the show and share the heartbreaking experience of losing her child in real life. Both the creator of the show and Kiele decided to write her ordeal into the show, her character Lisa was already pregnant. For a show that’s majority sweaty men fighting their faces off, I can’t tell you the amount of power Kiele brought as a female character to the experience of watching this season. As a woman, as a viewer, I felt every single moment she was portraying, in those quiet and silent moments they gave her, those were the scenes where you just knew she was no longer ‘acting’. I also want to give props to the creator of the show that believed in her story, he believed in it so much that he wasn’t afraid to share her story in a show that is mostly watched by men, and is about men. lisa_small-4e2029a3Over the remainder of the season she tries to heal, she tries to get back to #werklife, and her acting honestly was brilliant. She was always a side character before, but this season she showed how she could hold her own. Surrounded by a group of men with seemingly superhero strengths, she came out as her own heroine. We can dig it.

8. Maeve Millay (Westworld) 

The first season of Westworld didn’t just see the rise of the host population, it saw the rise of some badass bi**** to. The character of Maeve (played exquisitely by Thandie Newton) starts off as a sort of secondary character. Playing the hostess of the town’s brothel she’s used to getting used and abused by men from both sides. But when she’s taken backstage to fix up her robot wounds, she wakes up in the middle of a procedure and quite literally wakes up for the first time ever. I mean by the end of the season we learn more about her motivations and how much she can control, but even still, her character became one of the most interesting elements of the season, and almost answered the question fans were asking from the beginning. What would happen if a host enters the real world? We don’t know what’s in store for Maeve in season two, but we know that wherever she ends up, she’ll keep fighting to protect herself and her freedom.

7. Ginny Baker (PITCH)

ginnybaker,kylie bunbury,pitch on fox

Ginny Baker aka the first female professional baseball player. This show is full of amazing characters, especially some strong female leads, but at the center of it all is Ginny who is introduced to the MLB in the first season. And no, she’s not playing with other females, she’s playing alongside the big boys, so you can imagine the dynamic you’ll be seeing as she comes into the locker room, and how she plays on the field. Honestly, this was one of my favourite new shows this year, it still hasn’t been confirmed for a season two, so we are crossing our fingers.

6. Queen Elizabeth (The Crown)

the-crown

God save the Queen! Or Claire Foy because she’s absolutely killing it playing Queen Elizabeth II. Claire Foy plays the Queen in a naive, playful, but really smart way. One of my favourite lines of the season, is when the Queen’s father has just passed away and she’s on the way to his funeral and she reads a letter from her grandmother and in the letter granny writes something like, today you are mourning two people, your father, and yourself because the person you were before is dead. Because she’s obviously the Queen now and she needs to step up, and stepping up may require her to be a different person, or a different version of herself. I think her biggest struggle to be Queen will always be the challenge of not forgetting who she really is. Staying true to herself while having to play the heroine for an entire kingdom.

5. The Girls of Riverdale (Betty, Veronica, Cheryl)

It’s not that I couldn’t decide which one of these characters is the strongest, or which one will have the biggest impact. It’s that I think these three characters are seamless, in that together they make the show better, they make their individual characters stronger, they affect each other in a way that impressionable teenage girls would have on one another. It’s been said, Riverdale is definitely a coming of age story. The show is full of characters, all learning about themselves in their own ways, but these three women have the potential to really control the direction and tone of the show. All three of them prove that there can be so many more layers to a character. Their comic book counterparts are very one dimensional, and very dependent on Archie’s story. We don’t see that as much in the show, I think the writers have something really amazing lined up for us.

4. Carrie Mathison (Homeland)

Honestly, Carrie is so good at being crazy, you just have to love her. People ask me if they should watch Homeland from the pilot episode, and I’m always like YAS! Duh!. But the show is really different from where it started. I’d like to say that Carrie has been the most consistent thing of the show, but I can’t because she’s legit crazy. There ain’t nothing consistent about a crazy person. But, the writers of do such an amazing job every season by throwing her crazy Carrie ass into different countries and situations, she shows how strong she is because she manages to save the world each time. I love that they slowed her life down this season. She’s back in NYC, she’s taking care of Frannie, and for what was basically 15 minutes of the first episode, everything looked to be pretty normal. And then there was Quinn, and crazy Carrie came out again, and every type of sh** hit the fan, but I believe in Carrie so much, that I know she’ll get out of it, she always does. Look, women are crazy, moms are crazy, but if you own it, and can still save the world from a massive terrorist attack, then you’re good in my books. Love you Carrie. Your baby daddy would be so proud.

3. Norma Bates (Bates Motel)

So I’m not a huge horror genre fan, although I’m obsessed with Ryan Murphy and everything AHS. I never got into Bates Motel. Well I tried a couple of times and then gave up. But everyone’s been talking so highly of it recently, I gave it another go, and now I’m hooked. Freddie Highmore does a psycho good job at playing Norman, but his mom – Norma is on another level. I think the most interesting characters are the ones that border on the line of villain/heroine. You get those beautiful moments in that middle area when you don’t know what the characters motivations are, you question their decisions, and you’re always on your toes. That’s Norma Bates. Played by Vera Farmiga, she honestly deserves all the awards. But so does everyone else on this list! She does such an amazing job at playing crazy so beautifully, Cersei is evil, and Carrie is crazy, but Norma is a mix of evil being beautiful. And I say beautiful because everything she does is rooted in her trying to be the best mother, she is so delusional, she believes she’s living in a beautiful innocent world with her son, but in trying to attain that she does some really fu**** up evil things. But in season four, you really see her for who she really is (because Norman’s away) she shows her true colours, and she is wonderful.

2. Fiona Gallagher, Shameless (Showtime)

Fiona_GallagherFiona Gallagher was on our original list, and it’s no surprise she still is. Her character has definitely grown over the past seasons, but this season saw a complete shift in her follow through. For a long time I think Fiona always knew what she had to do but could never actually do it. With most of the kids now older and able to fend for themselves, it gave Fifi a chance to focus on herself, her future investments, owning and managing her own business. It was amazing to see how far she’s come. Not all stories have a happy ending, especially in Shameless, the season had a super emotional ending with Monica, but it also saw Fiona make another brave and exciting decision. She’s in our number two spot because of all the things she achieved this season, there were a lot of different dynamics she had to deal with this season, in terms of her acting, and just her character, we loved it all.

1. Khaleesi, Game of Thrones (HBO)

I don’t think you have to be a Game of Thrones nerd to understand why Khaleesi will go down in TV history as the toughest character under 6 ft. She is the ultimate heroine, she is the mother of dragons, she will seek her revenge and it will be amazing. Also, she will stay on this list forever.

Seasons have come and gone. Winter is here. The end of season six saw Khaleesi set sail for King’s Landing, or wherever she’s about to dock her boat. Just as we suspected, the Greyjoys, you can really see how all these story lines are starting to intersect now. She’s got her dragons. She’s ready as she’ll ever be. Also, it’s perfect timing for her because King’s Landing had an explosive ending (I love saying that), with everyone literally blowing up – thanks Cersei.

Khaleesi_Dragon

————————————————————————–Honourable Mentions:

  • Cersei Lannister: That evil witch. Is she still considered to be a villian even after all her children are dead? Probably, yes, and even more so now.
  • Michonne/Carol: I love these women, but The Walking Dead has been so boring lately I couldn’t even bother putting them on this list.
  • Lena Dunham or Hannah Horvath: I had such high expectations for Girls, it is their final season, and I had wanted Hannah to be a more flushed out/successful character by now. Well I wanted that for all of them but Jessa’s still selfish, Shosh is still confused, Marnie is still crazy and Hannah is pregnant. So there’s that.
  • Big Little Lies: Literally every woman in this show is badass.

What do you guys think? Are there any badass female characters you want to see on our list? Let us know – comment below.

RIVERDALE: Chapter 5 Recap

It’s week five of The CW’s Archie comic book hit Riverdale.  We’re still obsessed, if not even more obsessed. This week we recap Jason Blossom’s memorial, Cheryl Blossom’s all-white everything outfit, Betty’s new man, and Archie’s lack of quartback skills.

Listen to @Recap_Rewind‘s podcast below:

Or download it on iTunes here: 

 

RIVERDALE: CHAPTER 4 RECAP

This week is all about #RiverdaleStrong. And we’re closing off our Friday with our episode revcap podcast. This week we decided to cover off all four episode’s of Riverdale with our fellow blogger @thesassygay.

We’ll be uploading a new podcast every week so be sure to stick around and join the discussion.

You can listen to it on YouTube below. Or download it from the iTunes store here:

Thanks for listening!

RIVERDALE: The Sticky Maple

We found this part of Riverdale’s third episode to be the highlight of our week. So before the new episode airs tonight, here’s our list of the funniest comments from Veronica’s sticky maple situation.

This post was co-written by The Sassy Gay.

10. CHERYL BLOSSOM – I usually pity the poor, but…

quote-10

The Hollywood Heroine: I didn’t really feel no ways about this one, is it an insult? Is it just like side commentary? It makes me feel like she forgot the rest of her joke. She makes the number 10 spot because I assumed she would’ve taken a harder shot. Three dotted endings are so overrated. Next…………

The Sassy Gay: I feel like Cheryl’s gotta keep it lowkey with her insults. Being queen bee at school only works if you have followers. And V could snatch that crown if she’s not careful. This was rude but def not too bad

9. SIMON SILVERSTEIN – Justice 4 Veronica Lodge!…Said no one ever!

quote-9

The Hollywood Heroine: LOL this was just straight up rude! It sounds to me like Simon would definitely be voting for someone like Trump so I already don’t like him. Also Simon, nobody would ever say Justice 4 Veronica Lodge because that just sounds stupid. So yeah, your insult sucked and your Instagram feed probably does to.

The Sassy Gay: SO straight up savage. Just point blank calling out V. This one got me – these Riverdale kids don’t let up

8. ADAM CHISHOLM – Who ordered the nasty girl? Not me…

quote-8

The Hollywood Heroine: We have two Adams on this list, but this one seems to be the party pooper out of the two. This Adam is not down for the nasty which is kind of boring. You’re very G-rated Adam, and we’re sorry you felt you had to admit that.

The Sassy Gay: This Adam is SO rude. And “Nasty girl”? Was he watching the Trump vs. Hillary debates or something?

7. ADAM MCDONALD – Wait actually – I’d still go 4 it. Don’t mind sloppies

quote-7

The Hollywood Heroine: On the other hand, I like this Adam more. He’s totally straight up, no shame in the game and he basically admits he’s down for the V regardless of the sticky maple sitch.

The Sassy Gay: Ugh so gross. Boys totally suck. I didn’t think people still abbreviated words with numbers. Adam’s gotta work on his comment game

6. LINA MURRAY – OMG. U gotta go V. Stop giving us a bad rap #stickymaple #BYE

quote-6

The Hollywood Heroine: Who’s giving who a bad rap LINA? The last time I checked Beyonce told us all to be feminists so why you joining in on this slut-shaming Instagram post? Why don’t you stop giving women a bad rap and check what team you’re playing for. #girlbye

The Sassy Gay: HASHTAG STICKY MAPLE. Can we please make that a thing???

5. FRANKIE VALDEZ – Girrrrll…GET! IT! TOGETHER!

quote-5

The Hollywood Heroine: I like Frankie, because Frankie legitimately seems like he/she is worried about V.  Like Frankie just wants V to get her sh** together and win at life. So I’m okay with Frankie, but also Frankie – caps lock isn’t cool and you just sound really aggressive. We appreciate you Frankie.

The Sassy Gay: LMAO. Realistically he should’ve opted for the “U” version of GURRRRRRRL. And true, he’s lowkey rooting for her? Maybe??? (Just trying to be hopeful on these harsh ass comments)

4. ACE MCDONALD/MCDOLAND – [We can send this girl back to NYC but we have 2 buy another ticket 4 her eyebrows.] [Actually, make that 2 more tickets. 1 for each eyebrow]

quote-4

The Hollywood Heroine: I love Ace because Ace felt like one comment wasn’t enough, so he clicked back to the comments section and dropped another shot at V. Also I died at this one because he was taking shots at her eyebrows, and that hits hard because we take our eyebrows very seriously. Her brow game is strong though so she shouldn’t worry. Also, looks like thats a typo – somebody getting fired in the graphics department.

The Sassy Gay: HAHAHAHAH. TWO COMMENTS! I love that he just came hard at her. One thing to note as well is when you watch that scene, there is a reaction shot of V reading them and she mouths “eyebrows”. DEAD.

3. BERK COOK- LEAVE R’DALE PLZ. U R GROSS. TAKE UR STICKY SELF BACK 2 NYC SO THE RATS CAN EAT U CUZ U DON’T EVEN HAVE AN APT ANYMORE.

quote-3

The Hollywood Heroine: Okay this one had me laughing the hardest because he literally wrote an essay to insult her. He couldn’t even spell Riverdale in its entirety, and then legit went all the way to introduce animals and the fact that she doesn’t have a residence in NYC anymore. Berk Cook, you are amazing.

The Sassy Gay: Lol Berk. The most full storyfied insult I’ve ever seen. I also love that he is lit-er-all-y shortening a tiny town. Like whyyy?

2. MIKE GOLLIGER – Wow fam, how ratchet is New Girl?

quote-2

The Hollywood Heroine: I think it’s safe to say Mike is a New Girl fan, because that sh** was properly capitalized like the TV show. But also, I love how family oriented he is when he’s slut shaming V on fake Instagram, he’s making her ratchet-ness known to all of his ‘fam’.

The Sassy Gay: AHAHAHAH. FAM, Riverdale trying real hard to be current with their slang. Good job, fam. Super current.

1. ANGEL ANGELINO  – Go back to New York, you nasty doe

quote-1

The Hollywood Heroine: Oh you nasty doe. I love this one just because it’s straight to the point and so savage. Also I love how somebody was like don’t write it with ‘though’ write it with ‘doe’. Amazing.

The Sassy Gay: I couldn’t stop laughing at all of these but this one killed me so hard. You’re right – so short and abrupt. No bull-sh, just full out shade


We hope you guys enjoyed the article – we had a blast putting this one together. Don’t forget to watch Riverdale on The CW Thursdays.

If this gave you a good laugh, follow us on Twitter:

@Hollywd_Heroine

@thesassygay

 

WHAT TO WATCH: RIVERDALE

If you’re feeling nostalgic about your high school days, or wish you lived in a small town, (don’t know if either of those are ever possible), but here’s why you should be watching Riverdale.

riverdale-map

The Town of Riverdale

Let’s start off with the foundation for the entire show – Riverdale. Yes, Riverdale, the quintessential suburban town that exudes everything Americana, and the same town from the Archie comics. Executive Produced by Greg Berlanti, who is literally the producer of all the other comic book shows, and airing on CW that airs literally all the other comic book shows, we can agree Riverdale is in somewhat good hands. But, not every quiet suburban town is as pretty and cute as Stars Hollow. And the fact that every single character in the first episode threw the ‘In Cold Blood’ reference, we were forced to believe something really shady going on in this town. And it all starts with a white teen getting murdered on July 4th.

The B & The V

I think it was Cheryl Blossom who coined the name, Betty and Veronica, aka B and V aka the new Blair and Serena. So I never read the entire Archie comic series, but from what I know these two chicitas were fighting over the same man, and for the most part hated each other. Well, this version of Riverdale is all about Beyonce and feminism – really just feminism. Sorry I still have Grammy brain. B and V are truly best friends, they’re all about girl power and we’re down for this. Now, we probably know that somewhere along the seasons they’re going to fight over Archie, I mean it’s bound to happen – who doesn’t want a little ging in their life. But for now, getting to see them create a really true sister bond, it’s something that doesn’t get much focus on TV these days. Also, I’m banking on Betty being bipolar and cray cray, so can’t wait to see how that plays out.

Archie Boy

New Zealand produced this generation’s real life Archie Andrews played by KJ Apa. He is so perfect for the role, it’s not just his mediocre acting chops (he has potential relax), he also looks exactly like Archie. With that ginger hair and that smokin’ bod, what’s not to like about the Arch man? With a huge secret (spoiler: he slept with his music teacher) we know he can handle an independent woman, and still charm the hell out of all the girls in his high school. My Archie forecast, I’m kind of over the teacher student affair story, so I’m hoping Archie falls for the Pussycat dolls singer who is obviously annoyed by his straight white maleness. Potential romance? I’m down.

Jugghead

They really went full throttle social outcast for the role of Jugghead. And I don’t mind it, I still think he’s cute in a really weird psycho killer way, but also his character is supposed to be like the wisest person in town. He always has this outsider’s perspective, and with his voice as the show’s narration you know he has Morgan Freeman wisdom potential. It seems like if there’s a secret floating around Riverdale, Jugghead’s probably going to know about it first (spoiler: Archie’s teacher affair) Also, Betty enlists Juggy to be a writer for the school newspaper, so it’s just all very cute, very high school-y.

Gossip Girl

Cheryl Blossom, aka Regina George, aka the twin sister of the white teen that got shot on July 4th, aka gossip girl. She’s not only gossip girl because she spreads all the gossip around Riverdale, but also doesn’t she sound like Kristin Bell from Gossip Girl? Kristin Bell was the voice of gossip girl – well she was the literal voice of gossip girl, not the figurative one played by Dan. (LOL, remember that? It’s still creepy to me after all these years) Anyways, Cheryl has a way of saying her lines in that weirdly intriguing fast talking way of explaining a back story, or when she’s convincing the audience as to why she showed up at the high school when B and V were in the middle of the B and E. (Betty and Veronica – breaking and entering, see! she’s so good at these tongue twisters) By the end of the third episode she’s not as villain-y, Cheryl joins the girl squad along with B and V, Barb Ethel (why can’t she ever have a non-grandma name?), and some other randos. It’s all about girl power right now and we love it.

The Parentals

I read a funny line today about the parents in the show and how their kids are exact carbon copies of themselves. So like Betty’s mom Alice Cooper is a journalist, and now Betty is working for the school paper. Or Archie’s dad played by Luke Perry is like a hot brooding confused loner/cool dude, and that’s exactly who Archie is. Veronica and her mom. Currently Jugghead has no parents. Cheryl and her parents, who just all have the same hair colour. So yeah, these parents are all up involved in the show, and so far Alice Cooper takes the trophy for most annoying parent. She’s so crazy and it was the best scene when Cheryl’s mom knocked her the f out. But let’s not forget about the big bag of money Veronica’s mom receives from big daddy.

As you can tell, there’s a lot going on in Riverdale. At the end of the day it still is a teen drama on the CW, they have a record of butchering shows down the line. But, from what we’ve seen and heard, (the writing is on point but I’m over the Blue Jasmine references) this show might have potential. It’s also one of the first shows to air simultaneously on Netflix, with episode releases weekly. So it has Netflix on its side, and a really good soundtrack. What else you waiting for? Start watching because it might win album of the year best new TV show.

Top 10 Shows You Should Be Watching…

The Top 10 Shows You Should Be Watching If You Didn’t Vote – Trump.

In other words, here are the top 10 shows that are as inclusive, inspirational, artistic and classy as it gets. If you voted for Trump, then you may not see the special sparkling light in these shows, but here’s to hoping.

10. Westworld (HBO)

I’m trying to keep all the HBO/Showtime big hitters at the bottom of this list, we all know how big their budgets can get, so they should be creating masterpieces each season. 1274080_mkt_pa_westworld-s1_po_v1_pHaving said that, Westworld and it’s freshman season made us look at our lives in a completely different way. What if we’re already on our loops? Expected to do exactly what was programmed into us…by society…? Mind blown right? There’s also a fearless leader involved played by Anthony Hopkins…and we all know how important a fearless leader can be these days. Am I right or am I right?.

9. Game of Thrones (HBO)

Real talk Game of Thrones can probably top this list, but since they win at everything else (except Golden Globes 2017) I’ll keep them at the bottom of this list. But seriously, at the root of this entire show lies some pretty bad ass women, some have fallen along the way, some have dyed their hair black only to realize ginger is totally their colour, and if you’re Khaleesi it took her losing the triple threat dragons to realize how strong she was. But also she really needs them so thank God they came back. Season seven is coming up, and so is winter, and so is a bunch of grown up Starks who we’re hoping kick some major butt this season.The women just rule in this show, don’t deny it.

8. The Affair (Showtime)

Again I’m keeping these really powerful big budget shows at the bottom of this list to give the newcomers a bigger spotlight. But there is so much to be said for probably one of the smartest shows on television. I’ve been a fan since the beginning, and this season, although we’re sympathizing with creepy Noah, it’s given an opportunity for wifey Helen (Maura Tierney) to shine bright like a diamond. Her performance this season has been beyond chilling. This show does such a great job at presenting the different perspectives, mainly between a man and a woman, husband and wife. But if you really look at it as something bigger, none of us see things the same. This causes huge confusion, major conflicts, but at the same time it’s also what makes us human. We all need to be able to live together, and not be shady. Duh.

the-affair

7. Black Mirror (Netflix)

This show might be the most low key (aka unknown) on the list, it’s on Netflix, and each episode is about something different, but they all have something to do with technology cover29and how crazy this world can get. At a time when there are a lot of unknowns, Black Mirror shows, what are world can be, and sometimes it’s really unnerving, and sometimes it’s really beautiful. I don’t want to get into each episode, I still haven’t seen them all, but the stand out episode has to be San Junipero, wait I can’t even tell you what it’s about! It’ll just spoil it, so go and watch it!

6. Shameless (Showtime)

What doesn’t Shameless talk about? There’s nothing that goes untouched with this show and this season brought us femme fatale Fiona, and Ian’s new boyfriend…that was a girl…and now is a boy. You know what this show does? This show makes it okay to talk about anything and everything. It makes it acceptable for anyone to do whatever they want, with whoever they want, it’s freedom, it’s crazy, but the world hasn’t exploded, it works, and it’s okay. And that is all. Just watch it. But you probably already are.

shameless-art-1

5. Kingdom (DirecTV)

Kingdom makes my list for one reason and one reason only – Kiele Sanchez. The second half of this season saw the return of Lisa Prince played by Kiele, and it was one of the most powerful and heartbreaking episodes I had ever seen. When Kiele has a miscarriage late into her real pregnancy, both creator and Kiele decided to include it into the show, because Lisa was pregnant as well. For a show that’s 98% sweaty men fighting their faces off, I can’t tell you the amount of power Kiele brought as a female character to the screen. A lot of her scenes where she’s breaking down, they felt so raw and honest, because I mean it did all happen to her. It was more empowering to hear that she wanted to tell her story to lisa_small-4e2029a3the world, there was nothing to hide or be embarrassed about. Over a few episodes she tries to heal, she tries to get back to #werklife, and her acting honestly was brilliant. She was always a side character before, but this season she showed how strong she is as an actress, as a character, and how big this show can be. It’s a show about MMA fighting, but put that aside and you realize all these characters are fighting for different things, maybe some of the same things, things that can resonate with us as the audience. But the point is, life can knock ya down, life might be shi*** for the next couple (4) years, but the fight just makes you stronger.

4. This is Us (NBC)

At this point you’ve probably heard about the show with the ‘special’ spin at the end of the first episode. Yes, it was that clever. This is not one of those shows that I’m tuning into every week, but I have been following and I just think this show is definitely breaking barriers. I really didn’t know how long the show would go on for, honestly it wasn’t about the quality of the show, I just didn’t think it would survive in a place like NBC. I just felt like to show some of the raw moments, they couldn’t be things that are shown on NBC, but nevertheless it has succeeded it’s first season right where it started. Then I saw they were nominated for a few Golden Globes and I was like damn. Now, I know all the politics involved  with certain shows getting certain nominations, but still, the show is really good, the writing is funny and cute, and the actors just play their characters right. It’s like one big happy family, ahem ahem.

3. Orange is the New Black (Netflix)

I feel like we’re always waiting for this show to return because we end up watching the entire season over a weekend. It’s just that good. You know, this season of OITNB really talked about some hard issues that have obviously been going on forever, but just had more attention in the last year. And not to say they don’t talk about OITNB,poussey,season 3hard issues, they always do, that’s what makes the show so special, but this time OITNB got HEAVY. The season finale ending, Poussey, it was a lot, it was shocking, disturbing, sad, it’s everything that can go wrong in our world, it’s what’s happening now, and it’s not fun to watch. I think it was that much more disturbing because it all escalated so quickly and it was characters behaving in ways we had never seen the behave before. How did it go from 0 to 100 so quickly? I think that’s a big question we need to explore further. When things escalate that quickly, you lose yourself in the jump, and when you add weapons to the mix, things happen that can never be reversed.

2. Pitch (FOX)

LOL, this show is on FOX so even if you did vote for Trump you might like it. JK JK, it’s about a female baseball player so you’ll probably think it’s disgusting. But honestly, this show really did a number on me this season. Yes it’s about the first ever female professional baseball player, but again, it’s so much more than that. All the characters in this show are dealing with different things. I’ll give you an example of when I knew this show was different. There’s one player on the team, and his wife is also a main character. Well, instead of making him that typical athlete who cheats on his wife, or making her the typical wife who’s getting cheated on but doesn’t mind because she’s got pretty things, they completely flipped it around and put her in the power seat. Instead, she’s the strong supportive WAG (lol just wanted to use that word), she takes care of her man, yes she did a detour with her own dreams to support her husband, but her character is sort of having this awakening where she’s like, now it’s my turn to do my thing. Roles are shifting, people are changing, it really sucks this show is on Fox though.

fox-pitch-group

1. The Crown (Netflix)

God save the Queen! Or Claire Foy because she’s absolutely killing it playing Queen Elizabeth II. This show surprised me the most and that’s why it’s in the number one spot. I’m not into all this old school, Victorian era, stiff sh**. Never got into Downtown Abbey. Don’t hate. But, I gave this show a chance, and right from the start I was in. I can’t tell you exactly what it is, I know the acting is amazing, and the writing is really magical. They could’ve made this show really long and boring, but it’s clear, concise and kind of funny. Claire Foy plays the Queen in a naive, playful, but really smart way. One of my favourite lines of the season, is when the Queen’s father has just passed away and she’s on the way to his funeral and she reads a letter from her grandmother and in the letter granny writes something like, today you are mourning two people, your father, and yourself because the person you were before is dead. Because she’s obviously the Queen now and she needs to step up, and stepping up may require her to be a different person, or a different version of herself. If you’re a sucker for epic lines, trust me, this show will give you plenty. So just watch it. #imwithher

the-crown

I know, there are so many shows out there that is making waves, there are so many different stories to be told, each one of these shows is bringing a different question to the table. What do you guys think? Comment below